Numbness,
why can’t I feel myself?
My soul tingles from its loss,
Oh I feel to much!
I feel to much!
Overloaded,
so overwhelmed,
useless
I am useless!
Nothing,
I am nothing!
Black swirls in my mind,
in my heart,
memories,
darkness,
help me!
God! Where are you?
Don’t you love me?
I hate you!
No, I am sorry
please forgive me!
Forgive me!!
Oh Lord forgive…..
Why am I here?
Where am I?
What day is it?
Oh my God I am so useless.
Why am I so useless, why?
I am trying to be better,
why can’t they see?
You see?
Nobody sees me,
my pain,
my loss.
Can you see?
I can’t see me,
can’t see me, anymore.
I am not anything,
nothing,
nobody to nobody.
I hate this,
myself,
you and you and you too!
No more,
please no more.
Darkness,
darkness creeping in
all sides
no more to see.
A light!
Please God a light to show me the way!
Whispers,
whispers,
what do they say?
No, no, no I can’t,
I won’t.
It’s the only way?
I will.
I can’t breathe
Oh my chest hurts so much,
crying again
Oh God this is pitiful.
Fuck this!
Fuck it!
I have a light
click
bang
darkness ………..
For all of those who have been there, or lost one or both. Never forget! It is hard to understand the reasons why things happen. I write this so those who are uninformed may know the struggle.
© 2018
If you enjoy these poems perhaps you might like to read POEMS: AN EXPLORATION OF LIFE
Aaron's Poetry Page 